THE BLESSINGS OF BEING AN ELDER’S WIFE

THE BLESSINGS OF BEING AN
ELDER’S WIFE

Dan Goddard

An elder’s wife is a person greatly blessed because she has a husband who is following Christ through the Biblical teaching of God’s Word. Knowing and abiding in Christ, she loves him deeply and treats him kindly so that his “prayers are not hindered.” An elder’s wife must be sure that she does not take advantage of her husband’s Christ-like manner and make any hardships for him to be an overseer in God’s church.
An elder’s wife must never strive to be the head of the household or to be demanding in any way. She must be one who is submissive and has a “quite, gentle spirit” — not one who will drain his strength attempting to keep Him under control. He has to give constantly to his spiritual family and that must be the first priority in his life, therefore his physical family must be one who is truly helpful to him.
An elder’s wife will realize that God gave the work of an elder to him, not to her, nor to both of them. It is the eldership’s God-given responsibility to shepherd the flock they oversee. Elders’ wives are part of the congregation the elders oversee. She must not interfere and take away from his authority. She realizes that his is one of the most important works in the world. To make it as easy for him as possible, she will do all the little jobs she can for him so that he can give all possible time to his work. Likewise, she will be a part of and attend every meeting and activity of the congregation that she is physically capable of attending.
An elder’s wife must be positive, encouraging and praying daily that God will give her husband the wisdom of James 3:17, “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” His task is to serve and work and plan for the building up of the whole body. She will emphasize his strengths and not be discouraging and negative. She will respect, love, submit, adapt to him and pray to be the wife her husband needs. She will manage the household well and love and train the children so they will have Christ first in their lives.
An elder’s wife must be one he can trust in all aspects: tongue, dress, spending of money, and conduct. She will be flexible, adapting to her husband’s schedule and life. She must be ready to change plans or entertain company at any time. She will have a thankful and joyful spirit. She knows these attributes can come only through truly abiding in Christ.
An elder’s wife must not be like the women of the world who can easily be deceived and confused by the words from ungodly people who demonstrate thoughtlessness and unkindness. She will guard her heart to be objective and not be overcome by her personal feelings. An elder’s wife must constantly guard her tongue, never being a gossip or a busybody. Her words must be uplifting, true, helpful and kind. She will especially avoid being jealous or inquisitive regarding confidential matters. As she prays in faith, with true humility and complete dependence on God for strength, God will in time cause her to grow in self discipline and controlled thoughts, keeping her mind on things above that are noble, and of good report, but most especially on the Lord and His great love. Through Christ’s power, which He has promised to each of His children, she will continue, more and more, to overcome the sins of the heart that easily beset so many women.
An elder’s wife cannot be a weak Christian. She cannot be a lukewarm Christian. She must be one who puts the Lord first in her life. She cannot be a true Christian or a true helpmeet without growing in “faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness and love” (II Peter 1:5-7). She can do this through personal, daily Bible study and prayer. She will also meet with other Christian sisters for fellowship, encouragement, study and prayer. She will have open communication with her husband as they strive together to overcome the specific sins or shortcomings that may be weak in their lives.
As an elder’s wife, she will strive to be aware of the physical and spiritual needs of others and will do all she can in serving these needs (but not to the neglect of her own family). She will be hospitable. She will always look for opportunities to influence non-Christians to come to the Lord. As she strives daily to grow in these areas of outreach, she will be able to relinquish her husband for his service with joy and not with self pity. She will have all that she can possibly do. She only needs to open her eyes and look around and become sensitive to the needs of others.
The rewards will be greater than anything she can imagine as she grows in the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). Most assuredly, the “peace that passes all understanding” will be with her always and most especially during the trials that will surely come.
6 Warren Dr.
Belmont, MS 38827
(This is brother Goddard’s address as of Dec. 2009)