EMOTIONAL LETTER TO YOU.

*EMOTIONAL LETTER TO YOU*
_TO THE MARRIED..._
Congratulations, I cherish your togetherness.
Meanwhile, remember, love is not about "it's your fault", but
all about "I'm sorry". Love is not about "where are you", but
all about "I'm right here". Love is not about "how could you",
but all about "I understand". Love is not about "I wish you
were", but all about "I'm thankful you are."
_TO THE ENGAGED..._
Congratulations too as you have resolved together to go into
this perpetual emotional journey. But remember, the true
measure of
compatibility is not the years spent together, but how good
you are for each other. Try as much as possible to work it
out, it's one of the best feeling in life. It's worth it.
_TO THE NOT-SO-SINGLE..._
Doing emotional "interview" by having numerous partners
in order to pick the most "qualified candidate" does not
work most times. Stick with someone your heart and soul
yearn for, not the one your eyes search for. Love is not
about becoming someone else's "perfect person.", it is
about finding someone who helps you become the best
person you can be.
_TO THE "I'M-IN-LOVE"..._
I will say kudos to you too. But remember love sometimes is
not all about happiness, but
sacrificing your happiness for someone else's weaknesses.
Also have it in mind that it won't be smooth sailing just like
the day you both agreed to go into a relationship, so be
prepared to make symbiotic sacrifices for that altimate goal
- marriage. Also be warned to reduce online "advertisement"
of your "boo", most times it's detrimental, if things didn't go
as planned and as thought, you will be the hardest hit and
you might even be converted to a "case study". Activating "in
a relationship", "engaged" and "being toasted" button on
Facebook might generate little comments and "likes", but
will
affect you more if you change the button in the future again
to "Single". Learn to keep important things in your life secret
until they are obvious to others, wait till after marriage, then
you can convert your facebook page to a photo album, but
until then, wait!
_TO THE SINGLES...._
Love is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it
eludes you. But if you just patiently
wait, it will come to you when you least expected it. Love will
give you the best in life and glow your spirit only when you
give it to someone who is really worth it and can reciprocate
it. So take your time and choose wisely.
_TO THOSE SEARCHING..._
I know you are searching
for your soul mate, if I get you right,
that means someone who thinks, behaves, dresses, eats,
drinks, sleeps, dances, walks, reads, feels and likes all the
same things as you right? Well, it might work in a Nollywood
or a Hollywood movie, but in reality it's not possible. And
besides, its not a healthy type of relationship, you know
why? It will grow out of unresolved insecurities. When your
partner's
thoughts, feelings and behaviours mirror your own, you're
validated by the illusion of sameness and it's a way of
avoiding uncertainty within the relationship. Eventually,
when there is a difference of opinion, you feel threatened
and invalidated. Before you know it, you will begin to doubt
the relationship, and may even think your partner is a fake.
Aunty/Brother, don't kill off your relationship by expecting
your partner to think, feel and behave the same way you do,
instead, celebrate the differences and make yourself open to
diversity. When you do that, your relationship can become
an exciting journey of growth and self-discovery.
_TO THE HEARTBROKEN..._
Hmmmmmn. According to my friend, nothing last forever,
not even aboki's perfume.
Heartbreaks last as long as you want it, and cut as deep as
you allow them to go. The challenge
is not how to survive heartbreaks, but how to learn from
them. Though most times, it's difficult to let go, but what will
be will be; if you are meant to be together he/she will surely
come back, but if not, there's nothing you can do. Move on.
_TO THE NAIVE..._
Yes. You keep reading love stories, watching love movies
and listening to love songs. But know one thing, most of the
authors of love
books are either divorced, or having issues with their
unions, most of the singers of love songs
are not even in relationships, and most of the actors and
actresses in love movies don't even
believe in love because they have either not experienced it
or have been "dealt with" in the
past. Therefore don't believe all you read, listen to or watch.
Take my simple advice; grow/fall in love
but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent,
share and never be unfair, understand and try not to be too
demanding, get hurt, but never keep the pain.
_TO THE POSSESSIVE..._
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with
someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one
you love is unhappy with you. Don't be too attached. Don't
give your happiness to your lover, give yourself much joy,
your happiness should not be dependent on your partner.
The phrases and statements like "She is the joy of my life",
"He is the reason why I'm breathing", "Without her I'm
worthless", "He is my world" etc are not practical. Nobody
can give you a better joy than the one you create for
yourself. Nobody is your world, you are your own world.
Yes, love increases your happiness,
but the key to your happiness and joy is in your hands.
Don't hold love too tight, it might get choked.
_TO THOSE AFRAID TO PROFESS AND CONFESS LOVE..._
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even
more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the
most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.
Tell him/her how you feel, he/she might just be waiting for
you to talk. Nothing stops a woman from approaching the
man she loves but with wisdom and great precaution not
been desperate. The world has gone beyond "rural"
emotion. If you love me, tell
me.
_TO THE CHEATS..._
Behind every untrusting girl is a boy who lied, cheated and
broke his promises to her. Behind every untrusting guy is a
girl who toiled with his heart. I'm not encouraging infidelity,
but don't let us be too quick to judge; if witches were given
time to explain why they did what they did, some of them
might be right (a proverb in Okene). But one thing the cheats
need to know too is that, they are not doing anyone any
harm but themselves.
_TO THOSE CHANGING PARTNERS..._
Sometimes within you, you feel justified by changing
partners like clothes just because of
few amendable "sins" that you too cannot even exonerate
yourself from, I plead with you to have second thought. You
may think you are still young and beautiful, but think about
it, if you keep changing courses in a higher institution;
sometimes after a year studying a course, sometimes you
have spent like 4 semesters, sometimes you are almost
through before you "realise" that the course is "boring", tell
me, when will you graduate? When will you even master the
discipline? Relationships are not meant to be projects, if you
are spending all your time repairing, fixing, upgrading and
changing, please have a second thought. Besides, you are
not getting younger, every minutes of your life counts.
_TO THOSE AFRAID TO INVEST IN LOVE..._
Just like business, love itself needs investment before it can
grow. All the hype about "She no want Designer", "She no
want Ferrarri" stuff are pure slogans. The female species
that doesn't want money and good things of life left the
surface of the earth around 1340BC, so if any man is looking
for females that doesn't want
anything but love will need to consult archeologists. Both
males and females are gold diggers, the different is that
some of us are heavy diggers, some of us are lazy diggers,
some of us are occasional diggers while some of us are
simple diggers, but we all dig! Love
without "financial empowerment" no matter how little will
shrink with time. So please invest in your partner and you
will reap the reward of your investment. Love alone is not
enough, add money to it.          
God Bless us all Amen.

Copied: ITUNU MERCY ALAJE.