The Role of Women in the Church and in the Home.

The Role of Women in the Church and in the Home.

By:  S. Gail Jackson
Copyright:  February 24, 2018

Thank you for this opportunity to speak to you in regard to the "Role of Women in the Church and in the Home".  By the word "church", I have reference to the body of Christ, the church of Christ.  What is our role as women in the church that Jesus died to establish?  Also, what is our role in the Home as God would have it be?
The first thing that we need to understand is that what I am teaching today is not my opinion.  Please understand that.  It is not a cultural thing either.  This information that I am giving you is from the word of God.
The first verse of scripture that I want you to know about is found in Col. 3:17.  It says, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks unto God, and the father, by him".
That simply means, that anything we teach, or anything that we practice from a religious standpoint, must be done in accordance with New Testament law.  It is the law that Jesus put into place when the church was established in A.D. 33.
This subject has been of interest to me for many years!  When I was a small child, my family and I did not attend church services anywhere.  Finally, when I was almost 9 years old, we began attending worship service in Springfield, MO, where I grew up.
My brothers and I were not raised up to that point knowing very much about the Bible.  We were taught to believe in God, but that was about it.
Once we started attending worship service, our family got together at our house for a family dinner.  I have three older brothers, two of which were already married by that time.
One of my brothers, after everyone was seated at the table, said, "Why don't we ask Gail to lead us in prayer?"
I was stunned!!!!!  I thought, WHAT????  ME????   And almost under my breath, I said something to the effect of, "Wouldn't that be usurping authority??"
As a child, I only vaguely knew what it meant, but it certainly drew laughter from the adults at the table!!!  The bad part was, I had no idea why they were laughing at me.  I was very serious!  I just wanted to make sure that it was scriptural for me to do such a thing.  As it turned out, I was RIGHT, and I was not called on any more to lead in prayer at the dinner table when men were there!  One thing that I recognize from all of this is that CHILDREN learn more than we think they do when they are sitting in the pews!
Little did I know then, but there is a Bible verse that speaks directly to this subject.  It says, "I will therefore that MEN pray everywhere...".  It's found in I Tim. 2:8.  The Greek word for MEN in this verse is ANER and it is never used of the female sex.  It always refers to men!  It means that when men are present, that a woman is not to pray out loud.  If it had meant the human race, or human beings, the Greek word would have been ANTHROPOS, meaning male or female.
Can a woman pray?  Yes, and she must pray, but not in the presence of a man or men.
Let's go ahead and read the rest of this section in I Tim. chapter 2, beginning in verse 9.
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness, and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but which becometh women professing Godliness with good works.
Let the women learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.  For Adam was first formed, then Eve.  And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.  Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith, and charity, and holiness with sobriety."
The woman is NOT to teach over the man and she is not to usurp authority over the man.  She is to be in silence.  The word "silence" here denotes quietness.  She is to be quiet in the worship assembly and not take a leading role in it when both men and women are present.
In the United States, where I live, it is not politically correct to teach this subject.  It is not popular in our culture!  However, it is my duty as a child of God to stand for the truth of the gospel, no matter who might not like it.  I have personally made the decision to not worry about being politically correct and further, to take a stand for the truth, no matter what anyone thinks or says.
All of this is what the Bible teaches on this topic and it is based due to what happened in the beginning of time.  Let's go back to Genesis chapter 3 and take a look at that.  Beginning with verse 1, it states:

"Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made.  And he said unto the woman, 'Yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of every tree of the Garden?"
And the woman said unto the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die."
And the serpent said unto the woman, "Ye shall not surely die.  For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also to her husband with her, and he did eat.  And the eyes of them both were opened."
That is through the first part of verse 7.
Needless to say, God was angry with both of them, and also with the serpent.  Each were given their own special punishment directly from God!
But unto the woman God said, "I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and they conception.  In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."
Do you remember the part that says, "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression?"  And then it continues,
"Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."
The word "Saved" in this verse, "saved in childbearing," is from the Greek SOZO, and denotes to save or preserve for a season, or period of time.  It does not mean that a woman will be eternally saved because she has given birth to a child.  Let's look at it again, "Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing, IF they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.  Do you see how close we came to be wiped off the pages of history?  We all could have been done away with, not needed any more!!!  AND it was all due to the WOMAN being DECEIVED!!!  The woman was in the transgression.  She sinned!!!
However, for the human race to continue, GOD ALLOWED US TO SURVIVE, and it was all contingent upon the IF.  IF THEY, IF WE as women, continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety!  What we today need to learn from this is that GOD demands obedience with exactness, and not allow anyone to deceive us, not even ourselves!!!

Through the years I have heard women say bad things about Eve for her actions on that particular day, but none of us are sinless!  We have all been disobedient to God at some time in our life.  If it hadn't been Eve who was deceived, it could just as easily been any one of us!

Some in the church, and out of the church, would like to say that what is dealt with in I Tim. 2:11-12, is a cultural issue, and that it does not apply to us today.  They contend that women should be able to do anything within the church that men can do, including, but not limited to, holding the office of an Elder or Deacon
They argue that our culture is different today than back in the days when the Bible was being written, because women today have been placed in positions of great authority in government offices, and also in the work place.
They have decided among themselves that it is 'old fashioned' to put any restrictions at all on the females in our society, even in the church.

But their argumentation is faulty!  We are not the ones to determine if something is right or wrong.  Right and wrong are not subjective, they are absolute!  We are not the ones to DECIDE such matters!  God makes those decisions.
Listen to the words of  I Tim. Chapter 3.  Let's start with verse 2, and then go to verses 10-11:
Verse 2:
"A bishop (i.e. an Elder) then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach:"
Then, verses 10 and 11 state:
"And let these also first be proved:  then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless  Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things."

A woman cannot serve as an elder or deacon in the Lord's church!  It is made plain in these verses.  This is not a cultural issue.  It is LAW!!!
Not only this, but the LAW spans thousands of years of many different cultures!  The Law was given to us in the New Testament, in the first century A.D., and then it takes us back to about 4,000 B.C. and explains to us WHY the law was initially put into place.  It just doesn't sound CULTURAL to me!  It sounds like LAW!  A law that is to be obeyed if we are to be pleasing to God.

Another scripture that I want you to become familiar with, if you aren't already, is found in Acts chapter 18, beginning with verse 24:

It speaks of a man, a Jew, named Apollos.  He was eloquent, and mighty in the scriptures!  He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, but he only knew of the baptism of John.
In verse 26, it states:
"And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue:  whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly."
Here you have a husband and wife teaching one man the way of God more perfectly.  It was a private meeting between the three of them.
The word "expounded" comes from the Greek word EK TITH EMI. It
means "to set out, expose, to set forth, to expound."
If it is the case, and it is, that both Aquila and Priscilla took Apollos unto themselves, (privately), and expounded unto him; that at some point in the speaking process, Priscilla, the wife of Aquila, was expounding unto Apollos, a man, the way of God more perfectly.
Please, allow me to be plain.  This was a private meeting.  It was a private time of teaching.  It was not public.  I can teach any man one-on-one, and so can any of you.  Also, the written word, is another means of teaching one-on-one.  As a person is reading, the person who wrote the material is teaching.
If a man is reading it, and decides to teach that same material publicly, he may, but HE is now the TEACHER of the material.  The woman is no longer involved in the teaching process. 
This also holds true if a woman is teaching a lesson with a room full of women who do not understand her native language.  Whoever is translating the message is the one being taught one-on-one, then that person who does the translating teaches the assembled group.
If I don't speak the language of the assembled group, how can I teach them anything?  The only person teaching is the one they understand.
Let us review what we have learned thus far:
1.  A man is to pray if both men and women are present.
2.  Women are to adorn themselves in modest apparel.
3.  Women are to learn in silence with all subjection.
4.  Women are not to teach nor usurp authority over the man, but to be in
      silence.
Therefore, we as women are not to take a leading role in the worship assembly where men are present.

Please, allow me to be perfectly plain here.
We as women are not authorized to make announcements in the worship assembly where men are present.
If you have an announcement that needs to be made, tell one of the men privately so that he can make the announcement.
We as women can do no public speaking in the worship assembly where men are present.
We as women can do no public praying at all where men are present.
We as women cannot lead singing where men are present.
We as women cannot wait on the Lord's Table where men are present.
And, finally, we as women cannot collect the offering if men are in the assembly.
Any of those things would fall under the category of usurping authority over a man.  We would be in violation of scripture.
This is speaking of MEN IN GENERAL, whether or not they are members of the church.  This is taken from the beginning of time.  "For Adam was first formed, then Eve..." etc.
Further, we are not to teach a Bible Class where men are present.  We as women teach children.  When does that little boy become a man?  This is an important question, and it needs an answer.  I have given this considerable thought since I am in that situation of teaching children.  What I have decided for myself is that I will not take a boy into my Bible class that is past the age of the 6th grade.  The reason I feel this way is that a boys' body is going through the changes to become a man about that age, and I don't want to take a chance of violating scripture.

If I were teaching a Bible class of women, and a man walked into the room, I would immediately stop teaching until they were gone from the room.  The Bible says, "I suffer not, (which means, I permit not, I do not give my permission) a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man (i.e. from the Greek AUTHENTEO which means to exercise authority on one's own account or to domineer over), but to be in silence.

The Bible was authored by the Holy Spirit and was written for all people of all ages; all periods of time.  It is just as authoritative today as it was when it was penned!  And further, we will be judged by the things that are therein written.

And just in case you are wondering, there is no eldership anywhere; no minister anywhere, no matter how famous he may be; no lectureship group, no matter how important they may seem, who have authority to change what the Bible teaches.

When men take it upon themselves to change what is written in the scriptures, they find themselves in the unenviable position of usurping the authority of God.  God will hold those people accountable, and those who listen to them.  We as listeners will be held accountable also if we don't do as the Bible teaches.  This is a serious matter!

A warning is given in Galatians 1:8.  It states:

"But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed."

If at some point in your life, you find yourself in the unenviable position of seeing a woman doing things in the worship assembly that the Bible does not authorize, what do you do?
As with any other Bible subject, you do not participate in it.  You either leave immediately or discuss it immediately following the assembly with those in charge.  Otherwise, you are bidding them godspeed, and therefore a partaker in their evil deeds!  II John 1:10
Ladies...we always stand for the truth of the gospel, no matter what, no matter who, no matter when!!!
You may at some point need to find another place to attend worship service.  Under all circumstances, always do what is right.
How are you going to know what is right??  You study, study, study!!!!
If you have a question about something, look it up!  You have an obligation to God to know His book!!!  II Tim. 2:15 is still in the Bible. It states, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed; rightly dividing the word of truth."

A study was done some years ago here in the United States regarding how long it takes an eldership in a congregation to decide whether or not to implement a program different than what they had previously done.  Such as: whether or not to allow women to wait on the Lord's Table, or perhaps whether or not to have a mechanical instrument of music brought into the worship assembly.  It was found  that it could take up to 90 days at the most to make a decision on it.  But after that three month period of time, it was useless to discuss it with them anymore.  Their minds had been made up by then.
At that point, they will tell you, "If you don't like what we are doing here, then you will just need to find somewhere else to attend worship service!"
If you are visiting a congregation and something unscriptural happens, I would suggest that you gather up your children and your belongings and walk out.
Some of you right now are thinking...ME?  Walk out of a worship assembly??  What will people think of me?  The important question here is:  "What will God think of me if I don't walk out?"  This is a doctrinal issue ladies.  Extremely important!

What Can Women Do?
Women can do many things!!  In fact, I have enough to do, right now, that if I had two lifetimes, I am not sure I would get it all done!

A woman can teach other women!
A woman can teach children!
A woman can teach men on a one-to-one basis, either directly or
through the written word.
A woman or group of women can conduct a worship service if no men are there.
A woman can help people in need, prepare food, run errands, comfort those who are hurting, and many other things.  Who is better equipped for this than a good woman?

There are many things that we as women can do, plenty to keep us very busy!!  As if we weren't already!!  But who gets things done...we do!!!

Are women second class citizens in the church?  Of course not!  We are all very important to God!  We are all important in the work of the church!  We, as women, simply have a different function in the church than men.  We also have a different role in the home than men.
The very first woman on Earth, Eve, was made especially for Adam, and was given to him as a help meet for him.
Notice that I didn't say "help mate" as many do.  The word "meet" spelled meet, means "suitable".  She was made as a help suitable, a help meet for Adam.  God made her with the qualities she needed to be able help her husband.  Each of you have been designed by God to meet your husband's needs.  Eve was designed specially by God for a specific purpose in this world!
With these thoughts in mind, we want to focus on important relationships that we have with others and discuss some scriptures in regard to them.
Time will limit us in how much we are able to deal with on this topic, and I am sorry for that, but we will get to as much as we are able.
Let's begin with my age group, the older women. 
It doesn't feel as though I should be as old as I am.  It seems in some ways such a short time ago that I was a teenager.  Then a few years pass, and I found myself being a young married woman.  Life was wonderful with  my husband, Robert, and our two children.  Sometimes it feels like it was only days ago, but as I type these words at my computer, our children are grown, married, and have families of their own.  I now find myself and my husband in the "older" category.  Funny how quickly time can get away from you.  Enjoy each day that you have! If you have young children, or grandchildren, stop what you are doing and talk with them, teach them things, play with them.  Teach them about God and His word! You only have those opportunities for a very short time. Let them know you love them with all your heart!
Ladies, we carry the torch and pass it on to others younger than ourselves.  The Bible teaches us that the older women are to teach the younger women.  That is the way that God set up the system for us.  For those who have lived a good long while, like I have, we should be teaching what we have learned from our many experiences in life, in conjunction with what the Bible teaches.  We are to teach these things to those who are younger.
What are we to teach?  Many things!  Let's begin.
Turn in your Bibles to Titus chapter 2.
To the young man Titus, the Apostle Paul wrote:
"But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works, in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity.
Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters, and to please them well in all things; not answering again;
Not purloining, but shewing all good fidelity; that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things."
Ok...let's take a few moments to look at what is being said in these verses.  There is a part of it that is addressed to the older women.  What is it that they themselves are to do?
1.  We are to continually behave, lead our lives, as that which becomes holiness.
2.  We are not to be false accusers!  Be absolutely certain of the facts before you speak.  You could be totally mistaken, or misinformed.  Also, before you speak, remember to ask, "Is it kind?" and "Is it necessary?"
3.  We are not to be drinkers of alcoholic beverages.  It says, "Not given to much wine", but from the Greek, this phrase literally means NO ALCOHOL.  Abstinence!  See Eph. 5:18.  It teaches that when one takes one drink of an alcoholic beverage they are in the process of being drunk with wine, wherein is excessive behavior.  See the Greek word METHUSKO as reference.  But that is a lesson for another time.
4.  We are to be teachers of good things!
What are we to teach the younger women to do?
1.  We are to teach them to be sober ---From the Greek, which denotes
to be of a sound mind, self controlled, sober minded, temperate.
2.  We are to teach them to love their husbands.
3.  We are to teach them to love their children.
4.  We are to teach the young women to be discreet -- from the Greek word, SOPHRON, similar to being sober.  It also denotes being of sound mind and self controlled.
5.  We are to teach the young women to be chaste -- from the Greek word, HAGNOS, which means to be pure from every fault, modest, pure from carnality (that which is of a fleshly nature), immaculate, pure.  Holy, as free from an admixture of evil.  Pure, as being tested, literally judged by the sunlight.  Pure, as being cleansed.
6.  We are to teach them to be keepers at home -- This has to do with working at home.  Watching or keeping the house.  Taking care of household affairs.
7.  We are to teach them to be good.
8.  We are to teach them to be obedient to their own husbands.

Now, you would think that it would come naturally to women to do all of these things, particularly such things as to love their husbands and to love their children, but such is evidently not always the case.  It is to be taught and reemphasized in each generation.  If you let this generation down by not teaching them, our grandchildren will not be taught either.

In regard to our husbands...we should take the time to make our live together special.  Do enjoyable things together.  Don't make things difficult for each other; make your home a happy place.  Listen to him when he wants to talk to you..whatever it is that he wants to talk about.  If he wants to talk...listen!  If you don't listen, he may look for someone who will.
Remember to render due benevolence!  This is found in I Cor. 7:3-5.  Be attentive.  Keep the romance alive.  Make special days special.  You are the one he wants to be with.  Let him know you are happy to be with him.
Women are to be keepers at home.  Does this mean that a married woman cannot work outside the home?  Not as far as I am aware.  But working does not keep her from being responsible for her home and family.  There are women in the Bible who worked, as did Lydia.  She was a seller of purple.  I cannot say if she was married, but she did have a household.  I truly believe that our main emphasis as Christian women should be on our home and family; that should be our number one priority.   We are to be women who take care of our home, our family and their needs.  Our families are to be the center of what we do as Christian women.  When we demonstrate our love to our family; teach and train them in the way they should go; instruct them fully in the way of the Lord, they will have a good foundation on which to build their lives.  The desire would be that they will then be able to do the same for the next generation.  Our goal should be to raise good, loving, caring families who desire to obey God above all else.  And then ultimately, when this life is over, together we will be able to enter into Heaven.
Listen, please, to the words of Deuteronomy chapter 6, as Moses gives instruction to the children of Israel, in the Old Testament.  We  will begin in verse 2:
2  "That thou mightest fear the LORD thy GOD, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.
3  "Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD GOD of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey.
4  "Hear, O Israel:  The LORD our GOD is one LORD:
5.  "And thou shalt love the LORD thy GOD with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6.  "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7.  "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8.  "And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9.  "And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
10.  "And it shall be, when the LORD thy GOD shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildest not,
11.  "And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;
12.  "Then beware let thou forget the LORD..."

Here, God was instructing Israel of Old, to do the commands of the LORD; but we today, as members of the Lord's church, are God's spiritual Israel, and we should be doing many of the same things that they were instructed to do. Let's begin giving much more time to teaching our children the ways of God!
In teaching our children, one thing that is needed, is to teach them sexual abstinence until they are married.  In my country, the United States, this subject has been grossly neglected.  Many other nations of the world seem to have done a much better job than the United States in this area.  In our country, dating has begun much earlier than in former generations, and we need to understand the pressure that is put on our children to engage in sexual immorality at an early age.  Many tell their children that it is ok, as long as you are in love with the person.  The Bible does not teach that!  The Bible teaches that sex before marriage is a sin.  It is called fornication.  This is the reason that we have so many unwed mothers in our country.  Many unwed mothers have learned the hard way, and have had to live with the result of their actions each and every day.  We have done our children a very grave disservice by not teaching them properly on this very important issue.  Please, let's get back to the Bible!  Let's raise our families in a Christian home, with godly parents, who will teach them Biblical principles, that will properly guide their lives.
Some have suggested abortion as a means to end an unwanted pregnancy.
Listen please, to the message of the prophet Jeremiah in Jer. 1:4-5:
"Then the word of the LORD came unto me saying, "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."
These verses prove that life begins at conception!  It says "before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee."    A person cannot be known if that person does not exist!!!!! That is just the way it is!
Also, look at Proverbs 6:17.  It speaks of things that the LORD hates.  One of the things mentioned is "the hands that shed innocent blood".  If the baby in the womb is not innocent blood, then pray tell, what would innocent blood be?  Listen to me...God hates it!  Further, we will be held accountable!
For those who have had an abortion, can they be forgiven?  Yes, of course, absolutely!  But let's begin as a group to teach ABSTINENCE to our children.  Let's follow God's law on this topic, as with all other topics.  Will your children always listen to you?  No, but you will have done what you could.
I rode on a school bus, as a monitor, for 4 years with teenage girls, some as young as 13, who had become pregnant out of wedlock.  The average age with them was 15.  They were not able to properly care for their children, even though some did all they could do, and still attend classes at school. There were some whose parents could help them, and did, others did nothing to help them.  For those very young women, ADOPTION could be a possible answer.  As difficult as the choice would be for the birth mother, to give up the child that she loves for adoption, it would be self-evident that she feels that she is doing what is best for the child at the time.
If you are in a position to do so, adoption is a wonderful loving thing to do for a sweet innocent little baby or young child that does not have a good home in which to brought up.  This can be an excellent alternative for a young woman seeking an answer to a difficult situation.
Young ladies, you are just beginning your lives.  Please make good choices!  Do not follow the crowd to do the wrong thing.  Be your own best friend, and think before you act.
CHOICES!
Let's discuss that!  Many have the mindset today that our words and actions have no relevance to our Christianity.  They are of the opinion that God does not care what we say or do as long as we acknowledge that there is a God.  Such is not the case, however.
In the book of Matthew, chapter 7:13-14, we read about two very different paths.  There is a strait and narrow way that leads to life.  And then there is a broad way that leads to destruction.  The word "strait" isn't the usual word "s-t-r-a-i-g-h-t".  It is even spelled differently, but it is pronounced the same.
The word "strait" is being used here because it is both strict and difficult at times.  It is also narrow, because it runs counter or opposite to natural inclinations, the way we are "inclined" to be naturally.  And then there is the opposite path, a broad way that leads to destruction.  All the masses go in this direction.

Ok, here are some of the decisions that we must make:

Will we obey the gospel???  OR
Will we keep putting off becoming a Christian?

Will we adorn ourselves in modest apparel???  OR
Will we dress immodestly, i.e. low cut tops, short skirts, etc?

Will we choose a well respected man to date???  OR
Will we date anyone who gives us a second glance?

Will we stay away from drugs and alcohol???  OR
Will we take drugs and drink alcohol?

Will we keep our lives pure, spend time with people who have the same values as we do??  OR
Will we go to places where we shouldn't be going and drink and dance, and other ungodly things?

Will we regularly attend Bible classes and worship assemblies???  OR
Will we refuse to worship God when the time comes to go?

Will we refuse to use curse words and filthy language???  OR
Will we use words that are not becoming to a Christian?

Will we always tell the truth, no matter what???  OR
Will we say whatever we choose at the time, whether it is the truth or not?

Will we finish our education if possible, and learn to be industrious???  OR
Will we drop out of school and not give time to studies?

(If you choose to marry) Will you decide to marry a man who respects God and His word, and raise a family in the Lord???  OR
Will you marry or live with someone who doesn't care about God or being a Christian?

Doing anything less than what God wants from us, is taking a step toward the broad way that leads to destruction.
If you have started down the wrong path, we have good news!!!  You can change paths!  You are not stuck on the broad way that leads to destruction simply because it is the path you have been traveling.
Let's get on, and stay on, the strait and narrow path that leads to life.  It says few there be that find it.  Let's make sure we are part of the few!

Ok, let us now turn our attention another direction:
Col. chapter 3, beginning with verse 18, it states:

18.  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
20.  Children, obey your parents in all things:  for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.
21.  Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
22.  Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;
23.  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
24.  Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance:  for ye serve the Lord Christ.
25.  But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done:  and there is no respect of persons.

In the husband and wife relationship, the wife, (we as married women), are in a submissive role.  Does that mean that our husband is to Lord it over us?  No.  He is not to be a control freak.  He is not to be mean to his wife.  He is to love his wife as he loves himself AND as Christ loved the church.  However, someone has to be in the position of being the final decision maker, and God placed this responsibility on the man.  If you are young and have never married, and if you do not desire to be a submissive wife, then I suggest that you don't get married  A person is not required to be married in order to go to heaven.

Just a note, however, on being submissive:  Every person alive has someone in authority over them; someone telling them what to do.  Even a president of the United States, the highest government office in our land, has someone in which to give account.  In his or her case, the president is accountable and answerable to the voters!  No one is immune from being in submission unless that person is a dictator, and even then, all will ultimately give account to God.

And then...Children are to obey their parents in everything they are told to do, unless what they are told to do conflicts with Biblical teaching.  And please, obedience to our parents should come with a good attitude.  Griping and complaining is never something that is becoming of a Christian.
Are you a parent?  Listen to your children!  Children are a gift from the Lord!  I know each of you are busy and what children want to talk to you about sometimes doesn't seem like it's important, but overall it is!  It is very important that they are talking to you, and at times, it will be something you really need to hear.  Please, stop what you are doing and listen to your children, so when it is important, you will hear it.  And...it's always important to them.  And THEY are important to you!!!
And if you have TEENAGERS...listen and please don't be critical while they are in the process of telling you something.  Be glad they are actually talking to you.  Just listen quietly when they are in the mood to talk to you.  It can be amazing how much information you will get; and yes, some you may not want to hear, but keep the line of communication open with them.  In doing this, they will enjoy talking to you.  Take the time to listen to them without being critical.
Yes, of course, teaching is definitely involved; and must be done.  But do it at the appropriate time.  Do not do it in anger.  Your experience in life is very valuable to them.  Use it.  Moreover, be sure to give them the guidance they need from the Bible.  However, when you speak to them, remember the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31.  Verse 26 says, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
If you are a parent, or even a grandparent, do not provoke your child to anger.  This is forbidden by New Testament law.  Do not do things, anything, intentionally or otherwise, that will discourage your children, or make them wonder if you truly love them.  I heard about an incident a few years ago, about a young boy, 9 years old at the time if I am remembering correctly, that really bothered me.  It is a good example of how sometimes we hurt children, and even provoke them to anger on occasion.  This young boy had just lost his father a few short months earlier and was still going through the grieving process.   One day, while visiting his grandmother, the family was sitting at the table eating  dinner.  The young boy who was still hungry was told by his grandmother, "You can't have any more pizza, you are too fat!"  Can you imagine how that little guy must have felt?  How hurtful this is to a child.  How would any of us feel if it were said to us?  We need to carefully guard our words.  Treat your children how you would want to be treated yourself.  Think before you speak.
The next verse we want to look at is verse 22 of this section.  Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh.  In our day and age, especially in the United States, this will generally apply to working for someone on a job.  Your supervisor is the one who tells you what to do, so you are to obey them in all things, unless what they are telling you to do is in conflict with the law of God, as was stated earlier.  We don't necessarily think of ourselves as servants, but in the context of this chapter, that is what is being discussed, and this is how it would apply to us.
What else does it say?  Not with eye service as menpleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God."
What does it mean, not with eye service as men pleasers?  When your boss tells you to do something, and you say, "Sure, will get right to it", and then you just ignore what they have told you to do.
This is not the way God want you to conduct yourself on the job!  Set the proper example and do what you are  told to do.  Do the best job that you can.
Just a few closing thought and the lesson is yours:
Our relationships are important!  The relationship we have with each of our family members is vitally important to their well being.  Take the time to correct mistakes as you go along in life, correct them as they happen.  Be willing to say "I AM TRULY SORRY" when needed.  Also, be willing and able to say "I LOVE YOU."  Let people that you are closest to know that you care about them and appreciate them.

In speaking to others, watch your words and also your tone of voice.  The words you choose, tell the world the type of character that you possess.  Contrary to what you may have heard, words hurt!  Words injure people, just as surely as if you stabbed someone with a knife.  Season your words with salt, it improves their flavor.  Yes, you can always say you're sorry, and please do so when needed, but you can never get your words back once they are released from your mouth.  If you want to have good relationships...guard your words!
We as women need each other for support, and a Christian woman is one of the very best places to get the emotional support she needs!  Sometimes all a person wants or needs is for someone to listen, and validate their feelings! A woman is able to do this for other women because she understands totally how another woman feels.  Chances are good that she has been through the same thing or something similar.  She can offer a shoulder to lean on and good advice, if needed.  Keep your sisters close, because they will be vitally important to you over and over again in your life.

In conclusion, we, as Christian women, are all important to God, and in the proper functioning of the Lord's body.  The difference is in the role or function we have in the scheme of things.  Our role as women is different from the men in the church, and also in the home.
God made man and woman in the beginning and HE loves each of us!  He has provided a means for all of us to obtain salvation from our sins.  When we comply with God's plan of salvation, we are all considered ONE in Christ.
Listen to Galatians 3:26-29:
For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus, for as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female, for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.  And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."

We, as Christian women, have many things we can do to further the cause of Christ.  We each have a powerful influence in the lives of many people; especially with our family and our local congregations.  We have been granted by our creator this one life on earth.  We must give our best effort to have a good effect on the lives of those around us, so that each of us will be able to pass the torch we bear, on to those others, who can carry the gospel into the next generations to come.

May the Lord bless each one of you!

For the cause of Christ,

S. Gail Jackson