When Does Marriage Take Place According To The Bible? By Ezekiel A. Akinyemi.

When Does marriage take place according to the Bible?
By Ezekiel A. Akinyemi
Different answers have been given to the question of this topic. Some say a man and a woman become married when both determine to leave father and mother and cleave to each other and become one flesh, God being their witness. They consider the witness of man as incidental, and not mandatory. This reasoning is based on how they understand Genesis 2:24—“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  This position cannot be sustained because, majorly, it ignores the teaching of many other passages of scripture on the same subject.

Some others say marriage occurs when a consenting man and a consenting woman who are scripturally qualified for marriage have an open declaration before God and man to become husband and wife. This conclusion is based on the teaching of Genesis 2:24 contextually and all other scriptures put together.
In order to determine the truth on any subject it is necessary to consider the immediate context and all the passages of scripture that relate to that subject. Treating a passage out of context on a subject and in isolation of other passages on the same subject often leads to false conclusions. This we must avoid in order to have the truth on this question and any other issue.  
 
 
When does marriage occur? Or, when does wedding occur?
Our beloved brother Wilson Adams, a faithful, seasoned preacher of God’s word, expressed his understanding on this question thus:
“I believe marriage occurs when two people (assuming they have a right to be married) make a lifelong commitment to one another before God and man. Different cultures may recognize that in different ways, but it must be recognized before both. In other words, there must be some pronouncement that two people have entered into a union as husband and wife. I know of no other culture where that does not happen.  Obviously the Bible teaches we must comply with the laws of God. We must also comply with the laws of the land and/or culture where we live.”

Definition of the words ‘Marriage and Wedding’
Marriage refers to the relationship, the long term sharing of two lives. Wedding refers to the specific ceremony that unites two people in marriage. While the word marriage includes the life long relationship, the sharing of two lives, the word wedding refers to the specific ceremony that unites two people in marriage. But here I use the word marriage restrictively to mean wedding, i.e. the specific ceremony that unites two people in the life long relationship of sharing two lives as husband and wife. Our Lord Jesus Christ used the two words interchangeably in Matthew 22:2-3.
In Hebrews 13:4 we read, “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Before the bed there must be the marriage, i.e. the wedding. So the word of God declares marriage/wedding as honourable among all. The Bible describes any sexual intercourse before marriage/wedding as fornication. Therefore, to avoid fornication, unmarried people are advised to marry/wed (I Cor.7:2).
 It becomes obvious therefore, that marriage/wedding is an occasion of declaration before God and man of a consenting man and a consenting woman (if both have the scriptural right) to become husband and wife. The Bible says this marriage/wedding, i.e. this declaration before God and man is honourable among all. This declaration is clearly implied in the statement in Malachi, chapter 2 verse 14: “.............................; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

There is no indication in the Bible that this covenant or declaration can be a secret or private affair between a man and a woman. Rather, all examples of marriages/weddings in the Bible confirm the process as open or public. Though God does not specify a particular mode of covenant/declaration for all nations or cultures, yet any marriage/wedding procedure in any culture that does not contradict the righteousness of God is declared honourable. And this marriage/wedding must happen before coming to the bed. The Bible describes going to the bed without scriptural marriage/wedding as fornication (1 Cor. 7:1, 2; Heb.13:4). 

Some Examples of Marriages/Wedding in the Bible
A careful study of some marriages/weddings in the Bible clearly shows that the witness of both God and man has been evident in every case.  Let us examine just a few:
In the Old Testament: 1. The marriage/wedding of Isaac and Rebecca - Genesis 24
                                    2. The marriage/wedding of Jacob and Leah and Rachael - Gen. 29
                                    3. The marriage of Moses - Exodus 2: 16-22
                                    4. The giving and taking in marriage - Deut. 7: 3.
In the New Testament:1. The marriage of Joseph and Mary - Matthew 1:18-25
                                    2. The marriage/wedding in Cana of Galilee - John 2:1-2   
                                    3. The giving and taking in marriage – Luke 20:34-35; I Cor. 7:36-38.
As a  honest and sincere person who is blessed with good reasoning faculty, would you conclude from the examples of marriages/weddings in the Bible that, for marriage to be honourable, the witness of man is just incidental and not mandatory?
The consequence(s) of promoting or practising any error is grave. Therefore, study this subject soberly in the light of the scriptures and respond to this article. I will be grateful to anyone who is able to prove me wrong by the scriptures on this or any other subject.